.Tips on Choosing the Best Gifts.
Dear Reader,
You’ve probably been in the recent process of gift buying for this holiday season and for the birthdays sprinkled in between (like mine!). Finding gifts large or small can sometimes be obvious for friends or very difficult for family members. I think we can all agree the biggest gift for all of us this year has been health and respecting the health of our friends, family, and community.
Still, physical gifts or experiences as gifts are still nice ways to show love! And for all the small restaurants and shops who have struggled this year, buying from them to in turn gift to a loved one is a twofold way to show love to your community!
As we struggle to define what we should get for certain loved ones, I wanted to share with you a way to categorize gifts. I’m hoping that this is helpful when thinking, “what should I get them and why?”. By thinking of the high-level intention and use of the gift, this should help identify what kind of gift is right for them this year.
The Gift Matrix©
Gift Matrix © by the Holistic Stoic, to assist in deciding on the use and intention of the gift.
You Love - This is an item/experience that you love, and want to share with others. This requires sourcing from your preferences. What are experiences, books, tools, memberships, snacks, drinks, beauty products, or artists that bring benefit/joy to your life? Who else do you think would benefit from this? It is important to ensure that you are enriching their life and that the recipient will appreciate the gesture, not interpret it as pushing your ideals onto them.
Others Love - Something that others will like. This is something that you don’t necessarily like or would buy for yourself, but know they’ll LOVE. This requires knowing their personality enough to go out of your known and to find a gift you just know that they will love and use. It could also be something that you love, of course! But this is less vetted by you and more selfless of a gift.
Exciting - Something that is just fun to use or experience. This brings joy to people for the fun or whimsy of the gift! While these don’t always have practical use, they are certain to be appreciated at least once. (concert tickets, artwork, local-made trinkets, fair-trade snacks, membership for ethically-made treats, a good wine, etc.).
Functional - Something that can be used on a regular basis to enhance the recipient’s life. Of course these can be exciting too, but the main intention is the function of the gift. (kitchen gadget they need, a journal, artisan tea towels or mugs, organic/fancy condiments, membership to a book club or low-waste cleaning products, etc.).
Using this matrix
In using this matrix, first think, “who is this gift for?”. After you have the person clear in your mind, reference the Gift Matrix. and think, write, or talk over what gifts work for them. Browsing sites, gift guides, your own house, or even reviewing past photos and memories together can work as inspiration too! High level guide:
Guided Steps
Think of who the gift is for. Picture them, what they do on a daily basis, what they like doing, and what aesthetic they have at their house.
Reference the matrix, does any combination initially jump out to you? Would this person most benefit from something you love that is exciting? Or could they use something that they love that is functional? It helps to think of their current situation and what would either enhance their life or bring joy!
If you are not entirely sure of the gift yet;
Decide which type of gift they most need: exciting or functional?
Then, decide if you’d like to share something you love or find a gift that’s not for you, but they’ll love?
Are you going to make or buy? Browse sites/stores/pinterest/DIY to get ideas or instructions on how to acquire or make the gift. As mentioned earlier, putting a little more effort (and sometimes little more dough) to buy from small or local stores can be a big boost for those businesses especially during this tough year. A unique, handmade, or local gift is usually more meaningful to the recipient too.
My Experience
Personally using this matrix, it helped me identify if what I was getting friends/family was typically something that I loved. While nothing is inherently wrong with this, it is also a different display of love for me to put a bit more effort forth and think up a gift that just screams them! Rather than just sharing my ideals with them, I can also acknowledge their inherent likes and preferences.
I’ve never thought about this or seen someone suggest gifting in this way… I think it is a fantastic way to add just another ounce of love to your gift! Changing the reason behind the gift every so often keeps the gift experience itself exciting and surprising.
Some Examples
They Love + Exciting: Smart Sweets gummies to my sister. I know she loves Swedish Fish and this brand has a delicious and low-sugar, high-fiber alternative to favorite gummy flavors.
You Love + Exciting: I love the musical Jesus Christ Superstar and got tickets to share with my partner (January before COVID). It was such a fun evening and now we can both sing along to the songs, heheh.
They Love + Functional: Twilly-style scarf from my best friend to me! She knows how much I love and utilize my scarf collection and was so kind to add to it. I definitely will wear and use it.
You Love + Functional: Candy Cane lip scrub (from Lush) from my best friend to me! She loves this product and actually now I do too.
This year I am sure that more gifts will be mailed because we are all staying COVID-safe! So, a final tip to keep the holiday cheer, joy, and love is to make gifts more of an event by video-calling when your family/friends are ready to open the gifts.
In Sympatheia, The Holistic Stoic
p.s. if you’re interested on how to wrap your gifts in a low waste manner (and save money), read this!
Resources: (1) original source of useful vs. exciting gifts inspired my categories of exciting and functional. (2) Commentary on types of gift givers
Cover Photo by @i_asma10 on Unsplash. Article photo by @melipoole.
